やり直す

お待たせーていうか、お待たせしました！

Hehe・・・ Assalamualaikum,

It has been a while kan? It shows how much unorganized I was this past few months.

I realized that writing a blog isn't as easy as it was before.

Perlu fikir apa nak tulis.

Perlu fikir nak cakap pada siapa. Siapa yang akan baca.

Perlu fikir nanti apa orang kata.

やっぱーめんどくさかった。

(sesungguhnya sungguh menyusahkan)

But it has really been a while and I do miss blogging. >_<"

I think I'll give this page a new face, and yeah, my daily life as well. I really need to get back on track. Lately everything is all over the place. 2 days ago, I almost forgot that I'm going to have a paper and a presentation this week. Wargh! 何やってんだよ！

Taubat Bintangku?

Beramai-ramai kami mendengar istighfar ini dalam kereta kemarin. Dengan huru-hara adik-adik yang sudah terbiasa, tiba-tiba terdengar satu suara dari belakang.

"

Asyik taubatan nasuha je, taubatan nassry la pulak!", pekik si Nasrry.

"Haha, jeles nama dia tak ada!", balas si Nasuha; adik yang ke-7.

Apa maksud Nassry ya? Tertanya-tanya la pulak saya di depan.

"Nassry tu bintangku la. Macam mana pulak jadi taubatan nassry,"perjelas bonda.

Sampai hari ni, nassry bila istighfar, dia tukar nama dia. Ssuka hati je! T-T"

Selepas 3 minggu.

Pagi ini akan bertolak pulang semula ke Malaysia, setelah seminggu berhempas pulas membawa ayah berjalan-jalan di Jepun.Tak sabar rasanya nak sampai rumah, dan goyang kaki di depan tv.

Tapi angan-angan saja- kali ini kerana perlu bawak rakan-rakan Jepun pula pusing Malaysia.

Malam ini tak tidur lagi la nampaknya kalau nak sempat kejar kereta-api jam 8 pagi. Teringat waktu dengan Iman, 'bermalam' di karaoke-kan takut terlepas densya(train). Ayah dah lama tidur. Penat. Memang penat pun.

Selepas buka puasa di kedai sushi depan rumah tadi, selepas isyak kami terus ke Shibuya. Nak melihat sendiri X crossing kata ayah. Tempat dimana ribuan manusia melintas jalan. Tempat dimana bonda pernah tinggal satu ketika dulu. Tempat dimana saya akan meneruskan pelajaran untuk 2 tahun terakhir di sini.

Berkejar kesana kemari, namun masa tak mengizinkan ayah pergi ke Tsukiji-ichiba. Pasar borong ikan terbesar didunia. Susah nak biarkan ayah pergi seorang diri. Ini Jepun. Terasa bertanggungjawab kerana dia berada disini, kerana saya. Masa tak mengizinkan saya untuk bertemu rakan2 seperjuangan di Omiya hari ini. Hati terasa sungguh berat. Bila lagi..? Bila lagi..?

Ayah, mungkin akan kesini lagi, atau mungkin tidak. Lepas ini, perlu bawa bonda pula melawat tanah tempat tinggal anakandanya ini. Teratak jepun, yang dikelilingi orang-orang yang sungguh tak terbuka pemikirannya. Bersabarlah.. masih ada lagi satu tahun untuk menyelami mereka, dan untuk mereka memahami orang asing seperti kami.

3minggu sudah berakhir sekelip mata. Cuti sekolah, tolonglah jangan habis kerana saya mahu merantau.

Ucapkan salam pada Australia selepas satu minggu lagi. =)

What's in Kawaguchiko

Goukaku
Originally uploaded by nadiahazli.

Its my 4th day traveling Yamanashi, and I'll be going to Fujikyu tomorrow. Rie Mama has been taking good care of me and my dad, and I can't thank her enough for what she did for us.

The picture was taken in one of Yamanashi's great shrine. Its written, Goukaku, meaning to pass. People has been coming to the shrine for wishes, and yes, to pass their exams. ^-^

Food and birthdays.

Why when there's a birthday there must be food? =/ Interesting.

Nonbirishitai..

We had Burger King for Nafhani's birthday Partee.

Bonda just came back from outstation this evening. I couldn't really help around the house, since I was too tired from the 7 hours flight. Datte, we spent the whole night before our flight melalak-ing at the karaoke-kan. Me and Iman.

I brought too many chocolates and sweets this time. Can't afford all the expensive things anymore though my brothers wanted DS. I really couldn't.

It felt weird without my 2nd brother around. Not-complete. 9/10. Sabishii, chotto.

Isit because of the weather, that I'm feeling very dry, fatigue, and my body is aching all over? Rasa macam nak demam, sakit kepala. Berjerebu la masa keluar tadi. Bonda was quite worried as well. "You just travelled dari 'luar negara'...bahaya ni". T-T"

My plans for this weekend,

Friday- Petronas Meeting.
Saturday& Sunday - Student Summit.

But, suddenly there's so many other things going on as well. Family picnic la, gathering la, sukaneka la.. komaru wa!

Saya balik mau nonbiri. zutto nonbirishitai.

Bila Nadiah belajar.

Al-Fatihah for Yasmin Ahmad.

Me and Iman talked about her, probably about 1 a.m just now. We were watching Buletin Utama, that was aired at around 8 pm Malaysia time. Wondering what is she going through at that moment, fighting for her life, and communicating with the 'other world'. What if.. this.. and that.. there were so many ifs.

Not knowing that she was already gone.

Innalillah.

God knows whats best for her.

Kematian itu, bila-bila dan dimana-mana. Work, as if you're going to live for hundred years, but pray for forgiveness-live your live for The Almighty, as if you're dying tomorrow.

Minggu Depan.

I have 8 papers and 3 reports to go.

-Yeah, I am scared.

My Oath.

Kuhadapkan mukaku, kepada yang menjadikan langit dan bumi,

aku cenderung lagi berserah kepada Allah dan bukanlah aku dari golongan

orang-orang yang menyekutukan Allah.

Sesungguhnya sembahyangku, ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku kuserahkan hanya pada Allah tuhan seru sekelian alam.

Sekali-kali tidaklah aku menyekutukanNya. Dan dengan demikian aku ditugaskan, dan aku adalah dari golongan orang-orang Muslim (Islam).

-Doa Iftitah-

It's hard for me to breathe. Thinking about what will happen to me. What should I do? What should I do? "超ー困る！超ー困る！”と繰り返す口から出しちゃった。I never thought of being so scared of myself, of what I've become.

It made me think about what is it that I am aiming for in life? What is it that am I scared of? What is it that I am facing?

I wanted to go to overseas to study. Experience a new life, somewhere outside my 17-years-frame. I know what I wanted, what I needed, thus I worked for it, and I'm here (thousand miles away from home). Alhamdulillah (not that I've been wanting to leave so bad).
But, is that just it? The End?......... No. Its the start of everything.

Now I'm bounded. I have a duty to be worthy of what I am. I have to, do what I am supposed to do. Which is to study. YES, they support me, give me what I need for my studies.

The stress of doing JUST that, almost killed me. I am a normal human being, always new to something, NEW. I need time to adjust things. To figure out the purpose in everything that I am doing. There must be a reason. Why I'm here, and why am I doing it.

Why do I have to study so hard, and not happy with the result. Why do I have to take some sure-fail subject, and being scolded for failing. Why am I taking 12 subjects per semester, to get the minimum GPA of 2.7- which I know deep down inside it is not, 無理impossible. Yet, I am down on my knees, feeling guilty for everything that didn't work out. Being scared to death to things that I'm not ready of.

Oh Allah, You taught me everything. Things that I am supposed to know. You gave me the chance to be here, to fulfil my dreams; but the idea of achieving the temporary doesn't tempt me anymore. and now I know where You're leading me to.

I am. going to study my best for You. It's my ibadah to You. To give back to You. Its to You who I asked for; time of tears, and joy. My life is for You. だからお願い、give me strength for this. Let me get through it-無事に. お願い。お願い。

It's for sure that the outcome, will definitely benefits now, and here-after.

Apabila anda ditawarkan BIASISWA,
Apakah tindakan anda?

Katakan 'Alhamdulillah'

Bacakan Al-Fatihah

Lakukan Sujud Syukur

Kekalkan Solat Sunat Dhuha

Jadilah Hamba Allah Yang Sentiasa Bersyukur.


-Siri Motivasi Solat/ Ustazah Hafsah-

#a hand book that I've been reading since PMR. I don't know where its from since I don't have the cover page with me anymore. もうすごいボロボロだ！

Sesungguhnya sembahyangku, ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku kuserahkan hanya pada Allah tuhan seru sekelian alam.